I Am Not One of Those People...

I am not one of those people. I used to think I could be. You know the type. "Oh, I don't watch television." I thought maybe I could fit in with this illustrious elite. Intellectuals. Deep thinkers. Philosopers whose minds are freed from the mindless drivel force fed to the masses through the magic box of pretty lights in their living rooms. I thought I could be one of them and I was very, very wrong. I need a television.
For the past four months I have not had a televison. It was a concious choice, I decided I was going to try to concentrate on school and TV would be a distraction. I was not totally free of mass media, I still had a radio. However, the only radio stations I get out here are the college station, a country station, a Christian station, and NPR. National Public Radio has been my sole source of news for the past four months; needless to say I am farther out on the liberal lunatic fringe than I was before.

But I have found I crave televison. I long for the sweet release of effortless entertainment. This must be similar to what a heroin addict feels after quiting cold turkey and succeeding - for a little while. I want my Lost, Smallville, and Battlestar Galactice. I need my Alias, 24, and Stargate. I want to have the news be told to me by blatantly biased broadcasters whose objectivity is as laughable as their phony smiles. I want to be bombarded with 23,496 sexual images per week; I want to witness 16,789 images of violence (real and simulated) per day. I want to laugh at the misfortunes of others; and be emotionally manipulated into staying tuned through just one more commercial break.

On second thought, maybe I can hold out a little longer.